1. 

I almost feel as if:

if we opened your brain

it would look much different and more complex and maybe even SHINIER than everyone else’s. 

(Is it your sunglasses that make you see the world differently?)

2. 

It’s called an “illness.”

But I can’t help but think that saying that

is like calling the fact that Mona Lisa isn’t smiling

a hindrance to a masterpiece.

3. 

There are many things I don’t get about you

But I think now I understand that they are defense mechanisms to make sure people know just how odd you REALLY are

so no one gets too close and realizes why.

I like you anyway. 

4. 

There are some people you know you were destined to meet because they have a lasting impact. 

Or, because they inspire you to be better. Or because their belief in you makes you believe in yourself. 

You are one of those people. 

And we had just enough time 

for you to see something in me and bring it out. 

(Thank you).

Honestly:

just do it!

And if it scares you, 

do it anyway. :)

I told my parents about Michael’s one man show for his independent study and my Dad told me he would write me an original one woman show for my independent study my senior year >:) I have to get as good as Michael is, first, of course

I’m in the most sentimental mood right now like I honestly feel like I could break down in tears because I’m so sad about leaving but mostly because I’m so happy for everything that happened this year and all the amazing people I met that have changed me alskjdhsdjfdjskaljkhf

I love what performing can do for me. It gives me so much confidence and hope and happiness. Even a compliment on a performance can get me high for days. It makes me forget my little worries, because acting makes me happy and that is so much more important to me. Recently when I look in the mirror, it’s like I realize how I look, and that I could look better, I could lose weight, and blah blah blah, but I just care so much less. I barely care at all on those days. I want to bottle up that feeling and have it always. 

Last night was amazing for so many reasons. We went to see Cooper and his acapella group perform and then after they had a party and it was awesome. Some of my favorite theater people were there, including my favorite theater senior who was my director for the one acts. And the thing about performers getting drunk together is that we all just tell eachother how talented we are. And a few people said that to me last night and it was awesome and meant so much coming from them because I look up to them so much. Besides that, we all had a ridiculously fun time and embarassed ourselves and it was a fucking awesome night. 

I feel like there was so much more I needed to say because I talked to the one guy I look up to immensely for a really long time and left the conversation kind of in really happy tears because it meant so much to me that he thought I was talented. It gave me so much hope. Also tequila helped with that situation. But still. My role model thinks I’m awesome and talented. 

And friday is our banquet and then after party. I feel like I finally have solid friends in the theatre department (and some of them are graduating, sadly). But I’m still excited. I couldn’t have picked a better theatre department to be a part of. 

Also I’m making a huge 1850’s ballgown out of big garbage bags for my costuming final and I get to wear it it’s going to be awesome. 

It’s incredible how accurate my tarot card reading was, especially when it comes to my love life. She hit the nail on the head with the boys that have been in my life the past few months, and she told me I’d have a marriage that was fiery and passionate like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (who got divorced so I don’t really know how to feel about that) but they were both actors that made awesome movies together and they used their chemistry to their advantage. And their relationship was never boring. I am very intrigued by it. And I’m already crazy about old hollywood movie stars.

Sequence of events that just happened

• Jamie’s like, hey where did this two liter nestea bottle full of yellowish liquid come from?
• I have no idea!
• It was sitting by my desk?
• Well we had a bunch of people in our room over the weekend so maybe someone left it?
• Jamie legitimately thinks its tea
• hands it to me
• I smell it
• it
• is 
• PEE
• TWO LITERS OF PEE
• URINE
• STRAIGHT UP
• Tyler and Guy thought it’d be funny to leave a two liter bottle of pee in our room
• hyperventilate because I just smelled and am holding a huge bottle of pee
• walk over to Tyler’s and his roommate tells us they FOUND IT IN THE CEILING TILES (people here like to hide their alcohol and other stuff in the ceiling)
• so I guess someone that lived there before them thought it’d be funny to put a giant nestea bottle of their urine in the ceiling
• SO LIKE HOW OLD IS THAT PEE GOD EVEN KNOWS 
• MY NOSTRILS ARE STILL BURNING FROM SMELLING AGE OLD PEE.