But honestly theatre is so amazing and great that I can’t even believe it exists. I hope people get as excited about things in their life as I do about theatre. Theatre gives me hope for the world like…. as long as I have theatre there will always be something that I am madly passionate about and can’t live without doing. That rocks.
My Dad recently dug out the journal he wrote while I was growing up that was dedicated to everything I loved and did when I grew up and he wrote about how I always loved entertaining and playing pretend, and he wrote when I started my first acting class and when he went to see me in my first play and how he cried because he thought I would be so talented someday. He said, “I just want to give you this so you remember what you’re all about- and I hope you would never let some boy deter you from what you really love.” And I never would. John was a huge part of my theatre thing and I spent a lot of time working with him on Shakespeare and he was always my go to mentor with acting things because he is a really talented and insightful person. I’m very grateful and think I’m a better actress because he was my boyfriend, but I also know I can do anything without him and I’m awesome as an actress on my own. And I also know that in my life I’m bound to fall in love with boys that share my passion, but I’d never let that set me back. And though going back to school and possibly working so closely with John is going to be challenging, it can’t make me not excited to act again. Nothing can :)
the part I want in King Lear is the love interest of the part John’s going to get……
my life is drama (pun intended)
this stuff isn’t going to stop happening to me until he graduates, either -_-
If someone ever makes you feel like you have to apologize for being anxious or depressed, just kick them in the shins and leave their sorry ass in the past where it belongs.
Something needs to be said about the harmful “crazy ex girlfriend” stereotype. It’s tossed around like it’s nothing, when in fact it’s hurtful, judgmental, and one-sided. Show me a crazy ex girlfriend and I’ll show you an ex boyfriend that became insensitive, cold and cruel enough to make anyone frustrated enough to tear out their hair.
When I first started dating my ex-boyfriend (God, is the “ex” prefix starting to sound weird to you?) I was told by many of our mutual friends that his ex was “crazy” when they broke up. I never doubted this, because I was of course blinded by the glitz and glamour of this new relationship and, frankly, I didn’t much care about her. A few months later, after we had broken up for the second of three times (third time’s the charm, am I right?), all of which were out of the blue breakups that seemed unreasonable and nonsensical, I finally understood just why she had been called crazy. One day, my ex, as a defense mechanism to prevent himself from pain, had transformed OVERNIGHT into an emotionless, cold stranger that told me he didn’t want me. During the third and most recent break up, he did this again, telling me he couldn’t believe we had ever been close. He even told me to “fuck off.”
Of course, this hurt like hell. But I finally saw things from the crazy ex-girlfriend perspective. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run to his house and tear open his door and ask him what he had done with the boy I had spent the last year being in love with. I didn’t do that, but I did beg him through text message to not be so cruel to me. I lowered myself to the level of a doormat- I’m not proud of that, and I know I’m better than that. And I deserve better.
During one of these dramatic and ridiculous breakups I was accused of being a crazy ex-girlfriend by bystanders that witnessed me crying in a dressing room or making passive aggressive comments to this guy about how he doesn’t care about me. Also not my proudest moments, but I was so heartbroken, I would have probably done anything if it made me feel even a little bit better. Being called that hurt, though. Like, perfect: let’s belittle and discredit women by calling the crazy simply for having emotions. Even better, let’s make them feel that their emotions aren’t valid or worthy enough to be taken seriously. Let’s write them off as “crazy.”
Girls, if you ever hear a guy call their ex a “crazy ex-girlfriend,” use that womanly intuition of yours to see that six months down the road when you break up, YOU’LL be the one who is suddenly crazy. It’s a red flag. He isn’t mature enough for a relationship, because he isn’t mature enough to understand the complexity and reality of emotions. We are humans. We’re not perfect. Getting your heart broken can make you FEEL a little crazy and unstable, in all honesty.
Guys that are guilty of this: the truth is, you’d rather call your ex a crazy ex-girlfriend instead of owning up to the fact that she feels the way she feels because you treated her like dirt. It removes the blame, guilt, and, well- it’s just easier. Easier to put a painful breakup in the past and dodge the pain of hurting someone that obviously cared about you a lot.
The truth is, unless she broke into your house and/or murdered your pets or SOMETHING along those lines, she’s probably not your crazy ex-girlfriend- you’re probably just an asshole.